Imperfectly Perfect
by FutureMrsSnape
Summary: Hermione walks in on a shocking scene. What is suggested after is beyond what Hermione had ever imagined. How will Hermione react when her professor makes a sly and unfair advance at her; a professor she never even realized she liked?
1. Chapter 1

"Drats!" Hermione muttered to herself as she turned and raced back down the moving staircases.

"Oy! Hermione!" Ron shouted after her. "Where are you going? I thought we were going to get ahead on our homework for once!".

"We are!" Hermione shouted over her shoulder. "I just have to grab my book! Start without me!".

"Yeah right" Ron said to Harry as they made their way up to the Gryffindor common room.

* * *

As Hermione neared the potions classroom she heard a noise.

"What on Earth was that?" she whispered to herself. Then she heard it again. It was a moan coming from the room she was headed to. Fearing someone was hurt Hermione ran into the classroom and stopped dead. There, sitting on the potion master's desk, was her head of house, Professor McGonagall. The potion master, Professor Snape, had his head buried in her neck. Quickly, Hermione grabbed her wand and did a non-verbal invisibility charm. She stood motionless, hoping she hadn't been seen. Holding her breath, she started moving slowly toward the door. Just as she was nearing it, the door slammed shut and locked. Hermione gasped and turned around in time to see Professor Snape putting his wand back in his robes. He was looking straight at her. Hermione was about to call off the invisibility charm and explain that she was only there to get her book when he went back to nuzzling McGonagall's neck. Hermione felt like she was going to pass out and then she remembered she had been holding her breath. Taking a few deep breaths, she began to ponder about how she was going to get out of the classroom. Watching two of her professors snogging was the last thing she ever wanted to see; especially Professor Snape. Hermione hadn't, until this point, thought about the odd coupling that was just twenty feet away from the place that she stood. Why would Professor McGonagall want anything to do with Snape, anyway? Hermione thought she hated the guy like everyone else at Hogwarts seemed to. And he's the head of the house that Gryffindor hates most!

Hermione was jolted out of her thoughts by a loud scraping sound. She looked up to see Professor Snape sitting in his desk chair, rolling up Professor McGonagall's dress. As he rolled, he kissed up the insides of her thighs until he reached her sex and kissed her over her knickers. Professor McGonagall tilted her head back and let out a soft moan. Hermione gasped loudly. She had thought she walked in on an innocent snogging session, but clearly this was a different session entirely!

"Who's there?" a deep, husky voice growled.

Professor McGonagall pushed her skirt down and slid off the desk.

"I said, who's there?". Professor Snape walked around his desk, wand in hand, squinting as though he was looking into the sun.

"It was nothing, Severus. We're in the dungeons. Mice run through here all the time. Now are you going to show me that good time you promised me or shall I return to my room?" Professor McGonagall tried to kiss the potions master but he jerked his head away.

"I'm positive I heard a gasp, Minerva. And last I checked, mice don't gasp".

"Oh, Severus. I didn't hear a thing. I think you're being jumpy for nothing".

As McGonagall finished her sentence, Snape waved his wand and a wind rushed through the room, removing the invisibility spell. Professor McGonagall put her hand over her mouth when she saw Hermione standing there.

"That's a big mouse, Minerva. More like a _rat_, if you ask me". Professor Snape moved toward Hermione. With every step he took forward, she took one back until she was against the dungeon wall.

Professor McGonagall cleared her throat. "Hermione, what on Earth are you doing in here?".

"Clearly" Professor Snape said in a low, dark voice "she's spying. What happened to Potter's cloak, hmm? Or are he and Weasley using it to spy on someone else tonight? At the end of the night you all rush to Dumbledore's office, pour your memories into the pensieve, and have a good laugh?" Professor Snape got louder as he got closer. Hermione, having nowhere to escape to, slid down the wall and hugged her knees.

Hanging her head, she felt tears well up in her eyes from the shame of her intrusion and the embarrassment of being caught. "I'm sorry, professor. I only came back to get my book. I didn't know what was going on in here. I didn't expect anyone to be in here. I'm really sorry".

"Would you be willing to take a truth potion to prove your innocence, Miss Granger?" Snape asked.

"What? Yeah. Yes. Yes I would" Hermione choked out.

Professor Snape pulled out a chair at one of the student tables.

"Sit" he said to Hermione "and drink this". Hermione looked in the mug that sat before her on the table. It was muddy purple in color and seemed to be emitting steam, though she didn't think it was hot. Swallowing her pride, she picked up the mug and drank the potion in two gulps. Trying not to gag, she handed the cup to Professor McGonagall who vanished it with her wand, and took a seat next to Hermione. Professor Snape remained standing in front of the table.

"Now, Miss Granger, what was the reason for your presence in my classroom tonight?"

"I forgot my potions book and had to come back to get it, sir".

"And why didn't you get your book and leave? Why make yourself invisible and stay?"

"I walked in the room and saw what was happening. I made myself invisible so I could leave without being seen. Then the door shut and locked and I was stuck".

"Likely story".

"Severus" Professor McGonagall interjected "she's taken a truth potion. She can't be lying. Go ahead, Hermione."

"There's nothing else to say. I was stuck because the door was locked."

"Tell me." Said Professor Snape. "Did you like what you saw?".

"Sir?"

"Did you like it? Did it turn you on?"

"Severus!" shrieked Professor McGonagall. Professor Snape put up his hand to silence her.

"You can't lie to me, Hermione. You must tell the truth".

Hermione suddenly felt very hot. She hadn't thought about how what she had seen had made her feel; she was too busy being afraid of being caught. Had it turned her on? Had she liked what she saw? She wasn't into women, especially older women like McGonagall, but Professor Snape wasn't bad. She had never seen him as 'the greasy git' that everyone else saw him as. She had always thought he was handsome in his own way. But _attractive_? Was she attracted to him? She couldn't deny that she had a wet spot in her knickers for a reason.

"Yes" Hermione whispered.

"Yes what?" Snape said with a slyness to his voice.

Hermione drew in a breath and closed her eyes. "Yes I liked it. Yes I was turned on".

Professor McGonagall's eyes widened. Snape smirked.

"Would you like to join us?" he asked.

Hermione felt herself turn a deeper shade of red. "I'm…I'm not really into…I mean…I've never…yes. I would like to join you. Only…not as a threesome. I'm…not into that." Turning to Professor McGonagall she added "I like you, Professor, just not like that."

Now it was Professor McGonagall's turn to blush. "I agree, Hermione. Though Severus, I'm not so sure this is a good idea. If Dumbledore finds out..."

"Whether Dumbledore finds out or not is irrelevant as Miss Granger and I are both of age and she is only here to finish the NEWTs she missed her seventh year. And he won't find out because there are only three of us who know what's going to happen and I am not going to be the one to tell" Snape said, narrowing his eyes at Professor McGonagall as she stood.

"Have it your way, Severus. Just…don't get caught. And Hermione" she said, turning to the blushing girl "have a safe word ready, my dear…you never know". And with that, she walked out of the room, closing and locking the door behind her.


	2. Chapter 2

Hermione looked up at Professor Snape with both fear and astonishment. She couldn't believe what she had just admitted to her professors. She shivered. She wasn't particularly cold in the cool dungeon room, but she was definitely nervous.

"Professor…" Hermione started. Professor Snape held up his hand and shook his head.

"Call me Severus. I am only your professor during academic hours."

Hermione tried to swallow. She had a giant lump in her throat and her mouth was dry. "Severus…" his name rolled off her tongue more easily than she thought it would. "Why do you want to do this? With me, I mean."

Severus looked her over. "Just look at you, Hermione. All of the boys your age lust after you with your perfect figure and beautiful hair. It's your intelligence that scares them off. They fear that you're too good for them. I, however, see you as my intellectual equal. And that, dear girl, is the greatest turn on of all."

Hermione gave a tiny smile. She had thought that all of the boys her age stayed away from her because they found her to be weird. Did they really think she was pretty and only feared her because of her brains? Thinking about it, she had the opposite view of most of _them_; they weren't smart enough for _her_ so she avoided them. And here, standing in front of her, was a tall, dark, handsome man who craved her for her intelligence. A man who she could hold sensible conversations with without having to dumb them down. A man who shared her passion for learning and for reading. A man who wouldn't shag her and then tell the whole school about it. Maybe this wasn't such a bad idea after all.

"All this time I thought you hated me for being smart and now you're telling me you actually liked it. You are a confusing man, Severus Snape."

Severus smirked. "I couldn't let you on to my attraction for you, Hermione. You wouldn't have respected me."

Hermione frowned. "So making fun of me for being a know-it-all was supposed to make me feel warm and fuzzy toward you?"

"I treat everyone equally, regardless of what I actually think of them."

"So contrary to your façade, you actually do like people." Hermione said matter-of-factly.

Severus shook his head. "Not very many. Just a select few."

"Like who?"

"Well, clearly you and Minerva."

"Are there more?"

"A few. Lucius Malfoy and I are good friends. And believe it or not Remus, Sirius, and I have been on good terms lately."

Hermione smiled. "That's good to hear. I think Harry would be happy to hear that, too."

Severus wrinkled his nose. "What Mr. Potter thinks of me is none of my concern. I could care less of his thoughts and opinions relating to me."

Hermione sighed and stood up. "I have to say, Severus, that if you're going to be with me, in any way, you have to respect my friends. They mean the world to me and I won't let you talk down on them in my presence. You don't have to fancy them, but you do have to respect them."

Severus stood up looked at her. "I do not dislike Mr. Potter nor do I dislike Mr. Weasley. As I said, I treat everyone equally. Speaking of Weasley, weren't you going with him for quite some time?"

Hermione shrugged. "I was, but like you said earlier, he wasn't my intellectual equal. I tried to deal with it, but he just couldn't keep up with me. Even simple conversations about what to have for dinner turned into fights about me throwing my knowledge in his face." She sighed and looked up to make eye contact with the man who towered above her.

Severus looked her up and down. He then slowly walked around her. Hermione followed him with her eyes until he was out of her line of vision and followed him again as he walked back to her front. "Looking for something?" she asked coyly.

"Just admiring" said Snape quietly and he stopped, facing her.

Hermione smirked. "Now it's my turn to admire." She took a step forward and slowly reached up to unbutton his robes. Snape's eyes flared red as he grabbed her wrists hard making Hermione yelp.

"What the hell, Severus?! That bloody hurts! Let go of me!" Hermione, wide eyed and scared, struggled beneath his grip.

Snape stared hard at her before releasing her wrists and taking a few steps backward. He looked down at his hands and back up at her, remorse and confusion showing across his face. He tried to take a step forward, to explain what had just happened, but before he could say a word he heard Hermione cry "Alohamora!" and she vanished from the room.

Severus put his face in his hand and wept.


	3. Chapter 3

"Harry, where do you think Hermione's gotten to? She should have been back a half hour ago" Ron said, staring at the blank piece of parchment that was supposed to hold his essay. "At this rate, we'll never get our homework done".

"Maybe she got caught by Filch. He's probably got her locked in a closet somewhere as punishment". Harry rolled his eyes. He wouldn't put it past Filch to do that.

"Do you think she went to Hagrid's?"

"Ron, why would she go to Hagrid's without us? Especially when we were about to do homework" Harry scoffed.

"Maybe it's her way of telling us that we actually have to do the work on our own. Stupid essay. How am I supposed to know the eight properties of this bloody plant? I can't even pronounce its bloody name." Ron got up and sulked across the room to a chair by the fireplace. He had just flung himself into it as Hermione came running into the common room.

Ron immediately jumped up. "Hermione! Where in the bloody hell have you been?" He demanded. "We were supposed to start this a half hour ago! Now we'll never get it done!" He started to walk angrily toward her when Harry jumped in front of him.

"Ron, stop." He said putting his arm out to hold him back. Turning to Hermione, he screwed up his face in empathy and confusion. "What happened? Why does it look like you've been crying?"

"It's…nothing" said Hermione between breaths. She started to walk toward the dormitories when she stopped and turned to face her two best friends.

"Harry…do you think I could borrow the Marauder's Map for a little while?"

"Of course, but what's going on? Are you okay?"

"I don't want to explain it." Hermione said, becoming visibly irritated by being questioned.

"You don't have to get mad. I was just making sure you were okay. That's what friends do."

"Well, if those are the conditions under which I get the map, then fine! Don't give it to me. I'm going to bed!" and with that, she stomped up the stairs and slammed the dormitory door.

"Crazy witch, that one" Ron said and he slumped back into the table chair to get a start on the essay he knew he would never finish.

Harry, more confused than ever, shook his head and got started on his own essay.


	4. Chapter 4

Hermione awoke the next morning and dressed for breakfast. On the floor by the door was a folded piece of old parchment paper. She immediately recognized it as the Marauder's map. Picking it up, she checked to see where Snape was and saw his dot standing still in his private rooms. Hoping he would sleep in, she stuffed the map in her bag and made her way to the Great Hall. Harry, Ron, and Ginny were already halfway through a plate of pancakes each when she reached them.

"Here, Hermione. I saved you a seat" Ginny said, patting the empty space on the bench next to her. Hermione quickly glanced up at the staff table before settling herself down next Ginny.

"I heard you had a bad night. Are you okay?" Ginny asked her friend sympathetically.

Hermione shot a nasty look across the table at Harry and Ron. "I'm fine."

"Harry said you had been crying."

"I don't want to talk about it" Hermione said as she swiped some sausages and bacon from the large platter in front of her.

"Well, if you want to talk, I'm here." Ginny said and patted her friend on the back.

As breakfast came to a close, there was still no sign of Snape. "Good" thought Hermione. "Maybe the monster will stay in his cave for the morning." She gathered her belongings and took off for her first class.

Ancient runes came and went as did Arithmancy. As lunch neared however, time seemed to move much more slowly. Right after lunch Hermione would have to make her way down to the dungeons of doom and face the man who had manhandled her the night before. Hermione felt tears welling up in her eyes as she unconsciously rubbed her wrists. "Why did he do that to me?" she muttered under her breath.

Making her way to the Great Hall, Hermione heard someone calling her name.

"Hermione! Wait up!"

Turning, she saw her fellow housemate, Parvati Patil running toward her.

"Hi, Parvati. How are you?" Hermione forced a smile.

"I'm doing great, actually. I've been waiting for a week, but Dumbledore finally approved my wizard's chess club. Busy man, he is. Anyway, I wanted to ask you if you wanted to join. Our first meeting is today during free time right after our afternoon class."

"Um, I don't know…"

"Oh, come on, Hermione! It'll be fun! We barely get to see each other with our busy schedules and we have an odd number of people. We need at least one more to even out the numbers."

Hermione thought for a moment. She still hated wizard's chess, but it would give her an excuse to leave immediately after Snape's class in case he tried to stop her. Of course, then she'd have to suffer through an hour of the most barbaric game she'd ever heard of.

"Okay. I'll do it. I'll come."

Parvati wrapped Hermione in a tight hug. "Thank you so much! I'll see you after class!"

Parvati took off down the hall toward the Great Hall and Hermione followed her at a much slower pace. When she arrived, Ginny, Ron, and Harry were nowhere to be found. Figuring they'd be along soon, she took a seat and started in on a turkey sandwich and a glass of pumpkin juice. A half hour and another sandwich later, the trio had still not arrived and it was time to head to potions class.

Hermione groaned as she stood from the bench and slung her bag over her shoulder. Forcing her body to move, she dragged her feet toward the dungeons. She was so lost in her worries that she didn't even notice the fifth year Slytherin boys trailing her down the stairs. One of them grabbed her bag from her shoulder and tossed it to his two buddies. Hermione turned on the spot and glared at them.

"Give me my bag back. Now." She demanded.

The first boy chuckled. "Make me, mudblood."

Hermione flushed from anger. "Didn't the war teach you anything?! Even the Malfoys don't talk like that anymore! Give me my bag and get out of here!" She took a step toward the duo that was playing hot potato with her bag and launched herself at them. She was in no mood to play games. The moment she jumped at them the boys tossed her bag on the floor and scattered in three different directions. Hermione uncharacteristically swore under her breath as she picked up all the books and papers that had fallen out of her bag. She gathered her belongings as quickly as she could, jammed them into her bag, and took off at a near jog to the potions classroom. She got there just as class was starting. Hermione crossed her fingers as she tiptoed across the classroom, praying that Snape wouldn't turn around from writing on the board.

"Late, Miss Granger. See me after class."

Hermione sulked and sat down. "Great" she thought. Taking out her quill and parchment she took down the notes that were on the board.

When class finished and the room had cleared, Hermione stayed in her seat and stared at the table. A couple minutes passed with no words spoken between the professor and his student. After what seemed like an hour, Snape spoke.

"Come here" he said without looking up from the parchment he was writing on.

Hermione tried to obey but her legs felt like Jell-o. Holding onto the tables for support, she made her way to the front of the room and to her professor's desk. He looked up at her from his writing.

"We need to talk" he said in a low, grumbling voice.

"I don't think we have anything to talk about" Hermione said in a dismissive tone.

"You don't?" he gestured toward her. "Then why are you rubbing your wrists?" Hermione hadn't realized she had started doing that again. Throwing her hands to her sides, Hermione turned to walk out of the room.

"I have somewhere to be. Unless you're writing me up for being late, I'm leaving". And with that, she strolled out the door leaving her professor behind.


	5. Chapter 5

When Hermione had disappeared around the corner, Snape stood from his desk and paced around the classroom. He had set her up to be late so she'd have to stay and talk, but she was being defiant; and with good reason. If only she would just let him explain what had happened. Then maybe she would understand and give him a second chance. He hadn't wanted to grab her like that. He never meant to hurt her. The fear in her eyes as he gripped her harder and harder tore at his heart. Snape slammed his fist on a table. He was so furious with himself. He had used an unfair way to gain the knowledge that she found him to be attractive and then he went and hurt her. He had had his eye on this girl for the past two years. He had dreamt about being with her. He admired her for being so smart but hated it at the same time. She always knew what she was doing so he never had an excuse to be near her. She never needed help. And when he finally had the chance to pull her in, he failed miserably.

"How in the bloody hell am I supposed to fix this?" he yelled.

"Um, fix what, sir?" said a mousey voice from the doorway. Snape turned to find one of the first year Ravenclaw boys staring at him with wide, scared eyes.

Snape narrowed his eyes. "Did it look like I was talking you?" he said in a low, hissy voice.

The boy didn't even respond. He ran from the room, forgetting why he had gone to the potions room in the first place.

Snape waved his wand at the door and it closed with a loud bang. He needed to be alone. He needed to think. He needed to devise a plan to get back on Hermione's good side.

While he decided what he should do, he entered the door to his private rooms and poured himself a glass of fire whiskey. Settling in his overstuffed armchair, he stared into the fire, lost in thought about how to get back the girl he so desperately desired.

* * *

Hermione left the potions classroom with a mixed feeling of triumph and defeat. She had tried so hard to avoid him, and had succeeded until a few airheaded Slytherins made her late to his class. What she found strange, though, was when Snape backed down and let her walk out the door. She had expected him to call her back, or to close the door before she could walk out, but he just let her walk away without another word. She was glad that he hadn't forced her to stay; she didn't like being told what to do.

"I'll have to talk to him at some point" she muttered and sighed.

Making her way up to the Gryffindor common room, Hermione ran into Padma Patil.

"Hermione! There you are! Chess club started ten minutes ago! My sister sent me off to find you. Where have you been?"

"I was late to potions and I had to stay to talk with Professor Snape" Hermione answered in a grouchy voice.

"Snape, huh? Lucky you" said Padma sarcastically. "I know everyone says he's changed since the war ended, but he still scares me." Padma linked her left arm with Hermione's right. "Come on. You can be my chess partner."

Hermione gently unhooked her arm. "I'm not feeling well, actually. I'm going to go lie down for a bit. Tell Parvati I'm sorry."

"Okay, Hermione. I hope you feel better!"

Hermione waited for Padma to round the corner before she started back toward the potions classroom. She had a nagging feeling that was telling her to go talk to the man who she currently dreaded seeing the most.

She decided to check the map to make sure he was still in his classroom. Stepping into an empty classroom, she pulled it from her bag. "I solemnly swear I am up to no good" she whispered, tapping the map with her wand. The blueprints of the map appeared in time for Hermione to see Professor Snape entering his private rooms. "I hope he hasn't chosen now to take a lie down" she thought. Tapping the map with her wand again she whispered "mischief managed" and the blueprints disappeared. Gently placing the map back into her bag, she left the classroom and continued to the dungeons.

Reaching the bottom of the dungeon stairs Hermione took the hallway to the left. Three doors down she knocked. No response. She knocked again. Still no response.

"Professor?" she called through the door. "It's Hermione. I was wondering if we could talk."

Hermione had barely finished her sentence when the door flew open.

"Come in" he said and gestured toward the other armchair in front of the fireplace.

Hermione entered the room and walked slowly to the chair. She eased herself into it and looked toward the door. Professor Snape was standing there, staring at her.

"I presume there is a reason for your returning to the dungeons, Miss Granger" he drawled. He took a seat in his armchair. "Especially considering you just stormed out of my classroom. I was under the impression that we were not on speaking terms."

Hermione's cheeks flushed. "I decided that it would be good for us to talk. I'm not happy about what happened the other day and I feel that I deserve an explanation."

Snape took a sip of his drink and looked casually around the room. "Settle in then, dear girl, for we have a long conversation ahead of us.


	6. Chapter 6

"I believe we shall start with that explanation I owe you." Snape's tone had settled into a comfortable hum. "You are aware of the three unforgivable curses?"

"I am. We learned them in our fourth year."

"Then you are also aware of what they do."

"One kills, one forces you to do the deeds of others, and one causes pain and suffering to the victim it's cast upon."

"You have a good memory. Obviously I have not endured Avada Kedavra as I am sitting here. I was also trusted enough that the Dark…that Voldemort did not feel the need to put me under the Imperius Curse. That leaves one."

Hermione narrowed her eyes. "The Cruciatus Curse" she whispered.

"Correct. That curse was used on me many times. I have numerous scars to show for it. This leads me into why I grabbed you the way I did. Before the Dark…before Voldemort would punish us, for wrongdoings that we may not have even done, he would bind us to a wall to immobilize us. This served two purposes; to keep us from thrashing about on the floor and to make sure we couldn't escape. He would then pick someone else in the room to remove our shirt so the impact of the curse would cause more pain. The only time anyone has ever undressed me was in those situations." He stopped and reflected. "I have never been sexually or otherwise involved with a woman and when you advanced on me to unbutton my coat I had a flashback. All I could see was…Voldemort standing there with his wand pointed at my chest."

Hermione's face was turning red as she held back the tears that were welling up in her eyes.

Snape continued. "As I said, my hands were always bound so I was never able to defend myself. Obviously I was free of restraints the other night and without thinking I grabbed you. It was an automatic reaction. I could feel my scars starting to burn. I could hear my screams of pain. In my mind I was staring at Bellatrix or Dolohov or any of the other Death Eaters who disrobed me and enjoyed it, and all I wanted to do was break their wrists and make them suffer the way they were letting me suffer."

"That's horrible", Hermione sobbed. Her face was wet with tears and her hair was starting to stick to her cheeks.

"In a way I guess I deserved what happened to me. My true allegiance, as you know, was to Professor Dumbledore, not to Voldemort. There were times I was almost caught by Lucius Malfoy. Fortunately I was able to ease his suspicions by giving new information from our side. Dumbledore understood why I had to do what I did, of course. I lived in constant fear. I learned very quickly that I had to suppress my emotions. And for a very long time I didn't feel a thing. I was numb to the world. I still am."

Hermione drew a tissue from the box on the side table next to her and loudly blew her nose. Using another one she wiped the tears from her eyes and her cheeks. Professor Snape poured her a glass of water from the pitcher on the table and handed it to her. Hermione gulped it down, wiped her face, and drew in a breath.

"I can't imagine what you've gone through. I can't imagine being tortured by the people who are supposed to be on your side."

"Fear and pain were his way of controlling those around him. I believe he thought that if he showed us what he would do to us while we were loyal to him, we wouldn't dare cross him for fear of being maimed, if not killed."

Hermione shook her head. "Many people are loyal to Dumbledore and he hasn't harmed anyone."

"You are looking at it from an emotional point of view. When Voldemort started out as Tom Riddle he of course was human, but he never had the emotions of one. He fed off of violence and the suffering of others. After his first fall, he was no longer human. He became a monster. He lacked human emotions to begin with, and once he was no longer human, he had no good left to him at all."

"I still don't understand how someone can be that evil. He must have felt something at some time."

"Dumbledore has shown me the memories he collected when Tom Riddle was a boy. He was alone and abandoned. He never felt loved so he never learned how to love. You have to remember that this was a boy who grew up to kill six people so he could split his soul into seven parts to become immortal. He never lived with love. He never lived with sympathy or empathy. He taught himself to suppress his emotions…much like I did."

"You're nothing like him."

"Am I? I've killed. I've caused pain and anguish. I've learned not to feel."

"Did you ever have a sense of satisfaction after you hurt others? After you killed?"

"Of course not."

"There's your silver lining."

Professor Snape tilted his head in thought. "I guess I had never thought about it that way."

"Since everything came out about you, you've been deemed a hero."

"I am not proud of what I have done. I do not consider myself a hero."

"A hero is someone who sacrifices himself to help others."

Snape sighed. "Sacrifice" he said almost inaudibly.

"You may not have done good things, but what choice did you have?"

"I had a choice. I could have left. I chose to stay."

"He would have killed you."

"At least I wouldn't have to live knowing the misery and agony I've put others through."

"It's because of you that he's been demolished. Without you keeping all of us safe, who knows how much more damage he would have caused? Who knows how many other people would have been tortured and killed in the name of evil?"

"I understand." He took a sip of his drink and closed his eyes. "This is all still new to me; not being under anyone's control. I haven't felt freedom in…well…my whole life."

Hermione sat on the edge of her chair and took her professor's hand.

"There's a first time for everything" she said softly.

Snape looked down at the tiny hand that was holding his. It was so soft; so fragile. He feared that he could shatter its beauty if he held it any longer. He tried to pull back but Hermione gently resisted. He held his breath. He had never felt anyone touch him so tenderly before. He felt embarrassed. What would a young, beautiful, intelligent girl want with him? He looked into her eyes. She had stunning, glassy brown eyes. She looked back into his. His were a dark sea of wonder and mystery. They were a look directly into his soul.

"Severus" she spoke so softly he thought she hadn't spoken at all. "I want you, Severus. I can see your thoughts. I see the confusion. It's in your eyes. It's in your face. It's in the way your body tenses when I hold your hand. You don't know if I can handle being with you." She held both of his hands in hers. She slowly raised them her lips and softly kissed his fingertips. They were rough against her velvety lips. "I can."

Severus drew in a breath and held it. Releasing it, he spoke. "I have a lot of baggage. I have a lot to sort out."

"I can help you. I can help you learn to trust again. I can help you learn to feel again."

"You deserve someone who's young and unblemished; someone who doesn't carry around the weight of the world like I do. I am by no means perfect, Hermione. I never will be."

"I know that, Severus. But in my eyes you will always be imperfectly perfect."


	7. Chapter 7

**Warning: This chapter contains references to rape in past tense. If you are unsettled by this topic, please do not read.**

* * *

Severus stood, Hermione's tiny hand still wrapped around his. He twisted his hand to hold hers and gently led her to a couch on the other side of the room. He sat on the far left and turned his body slightly so he could guide her next to him. Putting his arm around her shoulder he pulled her close. Moving her hair behind her ear, Hermione placed a hand on his chest and her head on his shoulder. Severus breathed in deeply. The scent of fresh berries mixed with a hint of mint drifted from her hair. As he held her, he watched the fire across the room crack and shoot tiny sparks like fireworks into the air. He watched the ash burn out before it settled back into the dancing flames. He felt Hermione move and he was lifted out of his trance. Looking down, he saw her gazing up at him, a grin etched into her lips. Severus grinned back.

"What?" he asked playfully.

"Nothing" she said and quickly ducked her head back down.

Severus chuckled. "Well, it must have been something for you to be looking at me that way."

Hermione looked back up at him. "I'm just enjoying being with you. You're very comfortable. And surprisingly warm considering you spend all your time in these cold dungeons." The smirk on her face grew until a giggle escaped her lips.

"Quite the witty one you are, Miss Granger."

Hermione frowned a bit. "Back to 'Miss Granger' now are we, _Professor_?"

A big smile came across Severus' face and he laughed wholeheartedly. "Old habits die hard. Forgive me?"

Hermione raised herself up and planted a kiss on his lips. "Forgiven."

Before she could lower herself back onto the cushion, Severus gripped her upper arms and prompted her to straddle his lap. She did so willingly, leaning in for another kiss.

"What did I do to become so lucky as to have you?" Severus purred into Hermione's ear.

"What did I do to have _you_?" Hermione copied.

"Hmmm. Let's see. Well, I'm intelligent, wise, lived, and quite handsome if I do say so myself." Tossing his hair sarcastically he added "I'm quite the catch."

Hermione laughed and gently punched him in the arm. "Aren't we a witty one, " she said with a wink.

Sliding back to his side she placed her head back on his chest. "Can I ask you something?"

"Of course you can" he answered, stroking her soft hair.

"Why were you snogging Professor McGonagall?"

There was an uncomfortable silence. Hermione dared to look up. Severus was watching the fire again.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been nosey" she said and she pushed herself off him and into a sitting position.

Severus put his hand on her shoulder. "You weren't being nosey" he said gently. "I was lost in thought for a moment." He pulled her back into his arms.

"Minerva and I, being human, have needs. We're both older and single and decided that we would try a strictly sexual relationship to fulfill those physical needs. I haven't been with a woman in years and she hasn't been with a man in years. Close to the end of the war she figured out that I was a double spy. I couldn't confirm that piece of information or it could have gotten her killed, but she lightened up toward me and the negative air between us cleared. In front of others I continued to act in my normal ways toward her, just like I've done with you. I'm guessing that's why you were so shocked when you realized what was about to happen between us."

"Did you really want to have a threesome with both of us?" Hermione asked a little uneasily. She wasn't sure if she wanted to imagine that.

"It would have been interesting" he said. "Never would I force anyone to do anything like that…not on my own free will, at least."

Hermione furrowed her brow. "What do you mean 'not on your own free will'?"

"As I said, I have baggage that I carry around with me. I am not proud of _any_ of it, but no one ever disobeyed an order or denied a "gift" as he called it, from Voldemort."

"What were these "gifts"?" Hermione asked hesitantly.

Severus drew in a deep breath and his lips turned to a straight, tight line. "He would bring us women and we would have to take advantage of them. Some of them we knew, some of them we didn't. He would cheer us on the more violent we got with them."

Hermione's face went white. She knew Voldemort did some horrible things, but forcing his followers to rape women?

"About a month after he started bringing us women to violate, I became ill with an extremely high fever. I had some potions in my cabinet that cured me in a few days time. The next day, I was brought a woman but I couldn't perform. I was beaten for it. I realized that I was unable to perform because of the potions I had taken. They had a side effect of sexual dysfunction. I immediately brewed a few cauldrons worth and kept a vile hidden in my robes. One batch I made was accidentally diluted when I dropped a whole jar of pickled toad eggs into the mixture. By diluting it, the effects were half as strong as a potent mixture and I was able to sustain an erection for about ten minutes before I was unable to perform again. Of course I became the object of a joke with the other men, but it worked to my advantage. They would poke fun about me being an "old git" and tell me how much fun I was missing out on. If I had been caught taking that potion, I would have been killed, but I risked it because I didn't want to hurt anyone."

Hermione's mouth was in an "o" shape, eyebrows raised, face white.

He patted her on the shoulder. "That's enough for now. Dinner will be starting soon."

Severus helped Hermione off the couch and they walked in silence to the Great Hall. Hermione walked in the main doors and Severus rounded the corner toward the professor's entrance. Hermione immediately noticed Harry, Ron, and Ginny sitting in the same place they had eaten breakfast.

"Where were you guys during lunch?" she called excitedly as she neared the table.

"We had a lunch detention." Harry scowled.

"A lunch detention? Who gave you a lunch detention?" Hermione said, wrinkling her nose.

"Snape." Spat Ron and he glared at the empty seat at the end of the professor's table.

"What? No way. I didn't see you guys when I was headed down to class after lunch. What did you get in trouble for, anyway?"

Harry and Ron exchanged looks.

"What?" Hermione demanded.

Ginny piped in. "He gave them a detention because he said they were walking too loud. He told Ron to pick up his feet and stop dragging them. I got in trouble for laughing too loud. Can you believe it?"

Now Hermione shot a glare at the professor's table. Snape had finally taken his seat and was too busy eating to notice her staring at him.

"I had started to like him after the war, but he's the same old greasy git he's always been" Ron bawked.

Hermione kicked him under the table.

"Ginny!" he squealed. A few Ravenclaw students turned to see what the commotion was about. "Mind your own business!" he barked at them and they turned back to their plates.

"I didn't do anything, Ron" Ginny huffed.

"Whatever. If you like him, then fine. Just don't bring him near me."

"I said I didn't do it, Ron. I got in trouble for laughing. Do you think that makes me like him?"

"You probably secretly fancy him" Ron mocked.

Now Ginny really did kick Ron. He yelped again and held his leg.

"That's enough!" Hermione shot at them. "Let's just eat and get back to the common room so we can finish our homework before we all get a detention."

Once back in the common room, Ron, Harry, and Ginny started a game of Exploding Snap. Hermione went to her private rooms to do homework. When she sat at her desk she noticed an owl in her window. When she opened the window, the owl flew in, dropped a letter on her desk, and screeched to get back out. Hermione let the owl out and picked up the letter. Her name was written on the front with the same calligraphy she recognized from the chalkboard in potions class. She tore off the envelope and read the letter:

_Hermione,_

_I would like to inquire about you coming to our prior meeting place tonight at 7 o'clock. Perhaps you can stay out late._

_S_

Stay out late? Of course she could stay out late. She didn't have a curfew this year. Unless he meant for her to stay in his room for the night? It was the weekend. Hermione looked at the clock. It was 6:30. She found her beaded handbag. She had never removed the undetectable extension charm from it so she was easily able to fit her bed clothes, an outfit, and some toiletries for the next day. Slipping the beaded bag inside of her school bag, she realized that if she had misinterpreted his message, he would never know. She had packed her belongings in the handbag for the space, but if he didn't intend on her staying, she could simply keep the bag hidden.

Tossing her schoolbag over her shoulder Hermione made her way to the common room portrait. Her three friends were so involved in their game that they didn't even notice her leaving. As she walked down the deserted corridors, she smiled to herself. "I wonder what tonight will hold" she thought and she disappeared into the dungeons.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm so sorry I've made everyone wait for this chapter. I've been so busy and I hadn't had a chance to write in a while. Lucky for you guys I'm a night owl, so I was finally able to write. I hope you enjoy!**

* * *

Chapter 8

Hermione walked slowly toward the dungeons. It had only been quarter of when she left her room and she didn't want to seem desperate. As she reached the dungeon stairs, her shaky legs gave out and she tumbled down the stairs, landing with a thump at the bottom. A Slytherin boy, who was walking the other way, turned around and jogged to her. Holding out his hand, he helped her regain her footing.

"Thank you" she said sheepishly. Her knees and palms hurt from the fall and she was embarrassed to tears. The boy picked up her bag and handed it to her. Hermione glanced up to see who had so graciously helped her and her stomach dropped; it was the boy who had harassed her in the hallway, making her late to class. Holding her bag tight to her chest she narrowed her eyes at him. "Where are your buddies?" she spat. Looking behind her she added "Or are they hiding up there laughing at a tripping charm they just used on me?"

The boy held up his hands. "They're not with me. I swear. I'm alone."

"Why do I not believe you?" Hermione said sarcastically. She was shaking again, but this time it was with anger.

The boy took a step backwards. "Hermione, right?" he inquired. With no response he continued. "Hermione, I promise have anything to do with you falling."

"You take my bag, throw my things, insult me with the worst insult possible, and make me late to class. And you want me to believe that you had nothing to do with me falling down these stairs?" She got louder and took a step toward him.

The boy again, took a step back. "I…we…we were paid to do that! The fall was completely an accident on your part. The bag, the insults…we were paid to do that." His face became red and he looked remorseful.

Hermione's jaw fell open. She took a couple quick steps forward and grabbed the boy by the arm. "Who paid you?" she hissed.

The boy tried to shake free but she held him harder. Whimpering he said, "I can't tell you."

Hermione's grip on the boy's arm was so tight her knuckled were white.

"Please let go" the boy begged.

"Tell me who paid you to do those horrible things to me."

"I…I can't…he'll…he'll be mad…"

Hermione drew her wand with her free hand and pointed it at the boy's face. "I am older and stronger than you. I've lived through more than you. And I know more spells than you. Unless you want a screwed up face I suggest you tell me who paid you." Hermione was shocked at the way she was treating this boy. It wasn't like her at all. But she was mad. She was furious. Someone paying him to call her a mudblood? Someone paying him to carelessly throw her things about the floor? Someone paying him to make her late to…

Hermione released the boy and ran down the hallway. Furiously she banged on her professor's private room door. The door opened and she shoved him aside to enter.

"What in the HELL is wrong with you?!" she screamed. Severus cocked his head to the side and looked at her bewildered.

"If you didn't want to come back you could have sent the owl" he drawled sarcastically. He wasn't sure how to react to her sudden outburst.

"That's not what I'm talking about, Severus. I just ran into that boy in the hallway. You know, the one you _paid_ to humiliate me?"

Severus' face turned scarlet. "I didn't think you'd find out" he whispered.

"Someone calls me a mudblood after the bloody war and you think that's okay? You think it's okay to pay someone throw my bag around and ruin my things? That's low, Severus, even for you."

"Whoa!" he snapped and held up his hand. "I didn't pay anyone to call you that. I didn't pay anyone to ruin your things. I'll admit that I paid Davis to make you late for class. I wanted to talk to you and you wouldn't come near me. But I _never_ told him to do those things. I had it in mind for him to cut you off in the hallway, maybe put up an invisible wall charm to slow you down." he tried to take a step forward to take her hand, show her that he never meant for her to get hurt, but she stepped back to avoid him. He took the hint and backed up to his original standing place.

"You're a horrible man, Severus Snape" Hermione choked out through tears.

She had her face buried in her hands and he took this opportunity to move toward her and hold her close to him. She struggled, but he held tight. She finally gave up and just leaned into him, tears still flowing freely down her cheeks. Severus cupped her chin in his hand and gently raised her face to meet his. Looking into his eyes, Hermione saw tears. This made her weep all over again. He kissed her again on the forehead and bundled his hand in her curly chestnut hair. Pulling her close, she rested her head against him. She could his heartbeat thundering through his chest as he rested his head on hers. Breathing in her intoxicating scent, he relaxed. Feeling his body loosen, he gently pulled away and looked at him.

"I apologize for hurting you, Hermione. My intension was never to make you suffer. I will take care of Davis on Monday. But right now, your forgiveness would mean the world to me." He took her hand, sensuously caressing the back with his thumb.

"I forgive you" she said in a soft tone.

Severus released her hand and rubbed the back of his neck. "I suppose you'll want to be getting back to your room now" he uttered, unsure.

Hermione gave him a reassuring smile and embraced him around the middle. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to stay."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Hermione sat on the edge of Severus' bed and surveyed the room. It wasn't full of character, but it was neat and clean. She was surprised at the lack of black in the room. She had expected him to decorate his room the way he decorated himself. He had an emerald blue blanket atop Slytherin green sheets covering the four poster bed she was seated on. He had a few paintings hanging on the stone walls, though she didn't recognize the artist. Red, yellow, green and blue swirled upon each canvas creating a beautiful abstract jungle. To her right there was a fireplace behind a white bearskin rug. Just beyond the edge of the rug sat two maroon wing backed chairs. A small bookcase stood behind her made of dark mahogany wood. It seemed to house novels rather than textbooks. Standing up, she walked around the bed to the bookcase. Most of the books were dark thrillers. A light purple one stood out amongst the others and Hermione drew it from its home. 'How to Woo a Witch: The Dark Wizards Guide to Properly Wooing and Doing a Witch' read the front cover. Intrigued, Hermione flipped the book open. One of the chapters in the index had been circled. Turning to page 54 she found he had highlighted the parts he had apparently deemed important. She read through them; 'listen to her feelings', 'validate her thoughts', 'wine and dine, don't hump and dump'. Hermione giggled. Severus _would_ have a book like this. Feeling a hand on her shoulder, Hermione shrieked and dropped the book. Severus bent to pick it up.

"I see you found my most embarrassing book." He blushed as he returned it to the shelf.

"I was wondering, Severus" toyed Hermione. "Are we on more of a 'wine and dine' basis or a 'hump and dump' one?"

Severus turned a darker shade of red. Clearing his throat he tugged on his collar. Hermione laughed lightheartedly. "I'm only kidding" she said and she stood on her tiptoes to plant a kiss on his pouted lips. "So how many women have you used this book's tips on?" she asked curiously as they made their way to the two chairs.

Severus mumbled something inaudible.

"I'm sorry?" Hermione asked, leaning closer to hear.

"I said I haven't" Severus mumbled again. He wouldn't look her in the eye. He was clearly embarrassed.

Hermione looked at him empathetically. "I didn't mean to embarrass you, Severus" she said gently. He still wouldn't look at her. Getting up, she took two steps to her right and settled herself in his lap. Severus shifted uncomfortably. Hermione sensed his discomfort and wrapped her arms around his neck, laying her head on his shoulder.

"It's okay" she cooed in his ear while she suckled on his earlobe. Severus shuddered at the feeling. Hermione made her way around the perimeter of his ear with her tongue before she teased her way down his jaw and to his neck. A mixture of awkwardness and pleasure filled Severus from head to toe. He had never had someone be so tender with him before. In his past encounters he had gotten right to it. He never thought about foreplay. He wanted to meet his needs and be done. With Hermione's perfectly planted kisses and swirls of her tongue on his neck, however, he started to realize how good it felt to take things slow.

As Hermione made her way back up to his cheeks, Severus turned his head and their lips met. Hermione reached up and stroked his hair. It was surprising soft. Burying her hand in his hair, she pulled him closer and kissed him more deeply. His mouth parted to allow her to enter. His taste was invigorating and she moaned for more. His tongue ran across hers, savoring every bit of her. Around their tongues swirled, playing chase, taking each other in. Pulling back, Severus moved his lips down her neck to her chest. Hermione's v-neck blouse teased him. He kissed her as far down as he could and made his way back up, nibbling on her neck, making her shiver. With his left hand he ran his hand up her thigh, up her belly, to her top button. With ease it slipped out of its home and he could see cleavage starting to form. Popping the rest of the buttons, he brought both hands to her shoulders and pushed her blouse down her arms. Tossing it aside, he drank in the sight sitting before him. Hermione was slender, but supple. She had perfectly sized breasts that peeked out of her black lace bra. Her trousers hugged her low enough that he could see a freckle by her left hip.

"Buttercups" said Hermione suddenly.

Severus looked at her, confusion crossing his face.

"Buttercups. That's my safe word. Buttercups." She winked at him.

Severus lifted Hermione to a standing position and led her to his bed. Laying her down on the blanket, he began to remove his frock coat. As she shivered from the cool air, she realized she had never seen her professor without his frock coat. In fact, the only time she ever saw him without his robes was when he demonstrated dueling in her second year. Before he dropped his coat, Severus unbuttoned his white dress shirt. Removing both, he laid down next to Hermione. Severus snapped his fingers and Hermione's feet suddenly became cold. Holding her leg up she saw her shoes and socks were gone, as were his.

"Wandless magic" he said and he climbed up toward the pillows. Following him, they pushed down the covers and crawled under. Severus laid on his side, head propped up on his hand, and looked at her.

"You're a beautiful girl, Hermione Granger" he drawled.

Hermione smiled and moved closer. Severus wrapped his arms around her and kissed her on the cheek. When he pulled away he noticed her moving around under the covers.

"What are you doing?"

Wriggling a bit more she produced her trousers in her right hand and tossed them to the floor. "I thought they'd be in the way" she said seductively, a fire gleaming in her eyes.

Severus reached under the covers and stroked her stomach. Hermione gasped and giggled. It tickled, but it felt so good. She could feel the burn intensifying between her legs. Severus trailed his fingers around her navel and up her stomach, down her abdomen and down her sides. Making his way back up, he hooked his finger under her bra and let her left breast jiggle out. He rolled her nipple between his fingers and Hermione moaned. He pinched just enough to cause pain and then soothed it with his tongue. Hermione writhed under the covers. Propping herself on her elbows, she reached behind and unhooked the hindering garment. Tossing it to join her other clothing, she laid back down and placed her hands above her head. As Severus licked and sucked her left nipple as he rolled her right one between his fingers.

Hearing Hermione moan was causing an uncomfortable pressure in his trousers. Regretfully removing himself from her breasts, Severus rolled onto his back and began to undo his zipper. Hermione grasped his hand and moved it to his side. Kneeling by his waist, Hermione finished the unbuttoning and unzipping and pulled his trousers down his legs and off his feet. She could see his hard member straining against the fabric of his boxer shorts. Gripping the elastic she pulled them off. An explosion took place her belly and she could feel that her knickers were soaked. She was so turned on and she looked at her naked professor with hunger and lust in her eyes.

Before he knew what was happening, Hermione had her lips wrapped around his shaft. He watched as it disappeared into her mouth. He could feel her tongue twirling about as she sucked on her way up. Severus arched his back and moaned. Damn she was good! He wondered how many boys she had done this to before. His thought was caught short when she flicked her tongue through the slit on the tip of his hard on. Severus grabbed a fist full of her curls and firmly guided her head back down. Without protest, Hermione obliged. Licking and sucking, she pleasured her professor.

Suddenly she felt a sharp pain on the back of her head and she yelped a garbed yelp, her mouth still full with him. He pulled her off and quickly grabbed the base of his cock. Closing his eyes and focusing on his breathing, he sighed with relief.

"I apologize for pulling your hair" he said, stroking her arm. "You felt so damn good that I almost finished. As good as that would have felt, I was hoping to use it to pleasure _you_". Hermione blushed a wild shade of red; the anticipation of feeling him inside of her was driving her crazy.

Sitting up, he pushed the blankets off his knees and guided Hermione to a horizontal position. She expected him to position himself above her, but instead he bent her knees and lowered his head. Pulling her knickers aside, he noticed she was bare. A guttural growl thundered in the back of his throat. He liked it when women shaved. Hermione could feel his warm breath on her most intimate parts and she moaned.

Using her moans as encouragement, Severus parted her folds and flicked his tongue over her sensitive nub. Hermione screamed out as Severus continued his intimate attack on her bundle of nerves. Hermione bucked when she felt a single digit enter her. Adding another finger, Severus pressed in further, seeking out that sweet spot. Finding the spongy mass, he pressed and stroked it. This, mixed with the assault on her clit, sent Hermione over the edge. She bucked and writhed as she let out a scream. Severus continued his assault, slowing it down until Hermione leveled out and became limp.

Half lidded, she looked at him. Her bosom raised and fell as she caught her breath.

"Wow" was all she could say.

Taking this as an invitation, Severus got to his knees and pressed his hard cock against her entrance. Hermione bucked her hips toward him in an attempt to penetrate herself on his. Severus chuckled and pulled back.

"Eager, are we?" he teased. Hermione whimpered. Severus wanted to tease her more, make her beg for him, but his cock was so hard he couldn't stand it anymore. Thrusting forward, he impaled the girl. Hermione was caught off guard and her breath caught in her throat. She was seeing stars, but it wasn't from pain. She felt a tingling warmth rush through her body from her head to her toes. Severus pulled back and rammed forward again and again, spearing the object of his fantasies. Hermione arched her back to meet every thrust. Reaching between her legs, she started playing with herself. Severus leaned over, never missing a beat, and planted kisses on her chest. He tweaked her nipples with his fingers and nibbled her breasts. Hermione couldn't stand it any longer. Arching her back, she let out an animalistic scream. Her legs flailed and her free hand grasped the sheets so tight her knuckled turned white. Severus felt her clamp around his cock. Her hand still attacking her clit, Hermione bucked and moaned, writhed and screamed. Severus pressed on, pushing inside her with long, deep strokes until he lost it. Throwing his head back, a low, guttural groan escaped from the depths of his throat.

"Fuck" he moaned toward the stone ceiling.

Hermione's grip on his softening member loosened and he looked down at her. A huge smile was plastered across her face.

"That was absolutely amazing, Severus" she said between breathes.

Pulling out of her, Severus snapped his fingers. Hermione felt instantly clean, though the smell of sex still lingered in the air. He crawled up next to her and pulled the blankets over them. Wrapping his arms around her he breathed in her scent; berries with a hint of mint.

* * *

**Sorry for delay again. I've been busy and I've been having writers block. I've never written a sex scene before so some of this felt forced. Please let me know what you think. I appreciate all constructive criticism, so if there's anything you feel I left out, wrote funny, or added too much of, please let me know! It only helps me become a better writer. Thank you for your continued support! -Future **


End file.
